kjoseph98

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kjoseph98

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1849
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kjoseph98's page activity

Visits<b>Ololo</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:12am<b>Vidrill</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 12:10am<b>bhou56</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 11:42pm

kjoseph98's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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kjoseph98's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

by Japaroni / 09/15/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

by Twitchy / 09/14/2011 at 7:20pm / Bahamas (New Providence) / Animals

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

by owmyhead / 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2011 at 11:21am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

by meegs / 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Barnes and Noble with my dad, where he refused to buy me a book because I "already read too much." FML

by hfksorws / 10/07/2010 at 9:57pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous