kjack49044

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Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 3:02am)

kjack49044

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 979
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kjack49044 : You laugh at my pain, I laugh at yours.
That is, if the FML team ever publishes me...FML

kjack49044's page activity

Visits<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 4:04pm<b>19teej96</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 2:35pm<b>xxdlp3000xdd</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 12:46am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:43am<b>anonymoussal</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:48am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:20pm<b>kawaii666</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:03am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:39pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:38am<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 12:49pm<b>littleteapot</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:16am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:07pm<b>ayshas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Devin_Lloyd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:41am<b>turtlecupcakes</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>allie1121</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:16pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:25pm

Fucked!<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Araizaboi</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:49pm

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kjack49044's favorite FMLs

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 10:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

by birthdaygirl / 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

by brodinn / 04/11/2014 at 9:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

by BustedEgo / 03/23/2014 at 1:31am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

by Lulu / 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health