About kiwienne : I moved from Denmark to Belgium a year ago. My Flemish sucks ass, but I try anyway!
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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kiwienne's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Intimacy
by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML
by thenewgirl29 / 03/01/2013 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
by JimiHendrix / 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I've always been told I look just like my dad. The only difference between me and him is our… Today after spending an hour and a half desperately trying to shit I had no choice but to glove up… Today, I read an obvious fake FML in moderation about a kid talking to a ghost. Commenters not only…