kiwienne

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Offline (the 07/22/2016 at 2:45pm)

kiwienne

5Fucked!

kiwienne
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3259
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kiwienne : I moved from Denmark to Belgium a year ago. My Flemish sucks ass, but I try anyway!

kiwienne's page activity

Visits<b>PurpleKicks</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:50am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:43am<b>clumzrino</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 3:39pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:57pm<b>MisterEx</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:47am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:26am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 1:34pm<b>Lilo4life</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:53am<b>martianna</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:58pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:56pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:00pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:01pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:55am<b>ilpazzo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:14am<b>Rulerray97</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:59pm<b>ershadq</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:41pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:13am

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:58am<b>MisterEx</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 1:47pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:57am<b>ershadq</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:42am<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:57pm

kiwienne's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of kiwienne's badges

kiwienne's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

by thenewgirl29 / 03/01/2013 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

by JimiHendrix / 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.