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kittykat1582

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kittykat1582
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  • Number of visits : 64
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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kittykat1582's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
188 comments

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML



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Friday 18 April 2014

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