This member hasn't filled in their description.
kittenmeownyan's FML badges
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
kittenmeownyan's favorite FMLs
Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML
by Screwed / 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
by highleyj / 04/01/2009 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
by Noname / 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm / United States (Nebraska) / Animals
by Noname / 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
- Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at… Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a… Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers…