Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kittenmeownyan

Search for a member

kittenmeownyan
  • Town/Country : Victoria, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 635
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kittenmeownyan's last visitors

rouslovLeeBmombostuckRababcoMCRaddict15Damned_ArchitectTrackGirl19Welshitechargers2588taylor27gangMornaibutthole321

kittenmeownyan's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kittenmeownyan's badges

kittenmeownyan's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

#19460120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (3554)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

#18650624
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49689)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53215) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26484) - you deserved it (7685)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61250) - you deserved it (12510)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

#15161731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (4893)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:00am - health - by a -

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

#15031615
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (12112)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (3236)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: