kirstenburke

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Offline (the 12/24/2014 at 4:29am)

kirstenburke

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kirstenburke
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 September 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 919
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kirstenburke : message me if you want.

kirstenburke's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:27pm<b>theslawdawg</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:22pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:43pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:14am<b>sammy011</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:55am<b>nphill82</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 9:06am<b>shadows1990</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Swindell_Dc</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:03pm<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:48pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:51pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:19am<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:09am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:45pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:17am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:27am<b>Goku666</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:11am

Fucked!<b>Swindell_Dc</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 1:03am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:51am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:41am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:12pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:10pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:37pm

kirstenburke's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Socialite

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See all of kirstenburke's badges

kirstenburke's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

by koolkat9 / 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm / Work

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 3:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

by KayyElOh94 / 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids