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kirstenburke

Offline (the 12/24/2014 at 4:29am) | Search for a member

kirstenburke

7Fucked!

kirstenburke
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 September 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kirstenburke : message me if you want.

kirstenburke's page activity

Visits<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:27pm<b>theslawdawg</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:22pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:43pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:14am<b>sammy011</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:55am<b>nphill82</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 9:06am<b>shadows1990</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Swindell_Dc</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:03pm<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:48pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:51pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:19am<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 7:09am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:45pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:17am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:27am<b>Goku666</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:11am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:34am

Fucked!<b>Swindell_Dc</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 1:03am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:51am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:41am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:12pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:10pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:37pm

kirstenburke's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of kirstenburke's badges

kirstenburke's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

#21322112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm - love - by koolkat9 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (3677)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (5682)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (3519)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (5150)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33268) - you deserved it (3237)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (9364)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (2909)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

#21290447
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32456) - you deserved it (9900)

On 11/02/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41334) - you deserved it (12405)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (3426)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33731) - you deserved it (2798)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (4582)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (3493)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States



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