About kinky44 : Hello there, wandering FML-user! Welcome to my profile. Admission is $39.95, dont worry I'll bill you later. Anyway, im probably the funniest guy on FML, probably. When im not hanging out with friends, im usually on Netflix, on my XbOne playing with friends, or working out. I love making people laugh and this is a great site to do so, mostly. Proud supporter of Team Nice Dynamite, the Dallas Cowboys, and KWA. (Hint: Im not the fat guy in either picture, dont worry. But I might be Will Smith.)
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kinky44's favorite FMLs
Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML
by notfuckingpaidenough / 06/13/2015 at 7:45am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML
by alyssaamarante / 06/12/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by seadrick / 06/06/2015 at 12:19pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Animals
by bigmouthedmommy / 04/13/2015 at 1:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by NotDying / 04/08/2015 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Health
by billy / 03/31/2015 at 6:54am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by twelvie / 03/23/2015 at 10:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Feronia / 03/18/2015 at 9:16am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Kids
by xswitch74 / 03/16/2015 at 10:36am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML
by mukduk / 03/16/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by probably not getting the job / 03/09/2015 at 1:44am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm / United States / Health
Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML
by walktowardslight / 12/03/2014 at 5:35am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous