About kingofswedes : Born and raised in the metropolitan city of Linköping, Sweden, where polar bears roam the streets and everybody plays hockey (I actually love hockey). But most important of all, where we are awesome. Oh, you're only here for nudes? Women...
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kingofswedes's favorite FMLs
by limegreenpoopie / 09/06/2016 at 9:38am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my son's first impression of our new neighborhood was to be yelled at by the first kid he tried to introduce himself to, because my son was on the edge of their lawn. Half-an-hour later, I got a lecture at the corner store, because the clerk thinks vaccinations caused my son's autism. FML
by ProudASDmom / 03/29/2016 at 10:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by qourt / 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Notsurewhattofeelaboutthis / 08/06/2015 at 10:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 5:34am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML
by single&alone / 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML
by stillhurting / 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…