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kimmooo

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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kimmooo's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3636)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44753) - you deserved it (4076)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57919) - you deserved it (4614)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

#20892986
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47721) - you deserved it (6186)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by User (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53429) - you deserved it (5404)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51299) - you deserved it (4984)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53069) - you deserved it (19242)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52587) - you deserved it (5984)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55072) - you deserved it (7006)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

#20863117
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49495) - you deserved it (6302)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56195) - you deserved it (4441)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49711) - you deserved it (40594)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48898) - you deserved it (4929)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (18732)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)



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