About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.
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kimmi5's favorite FMLs
Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML
by Annonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (California) / Money
by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy
by smiley1014 / 11/18/2013 at 4:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML
by failed brood mare / 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 8:34am / United States (California) / Animals
by LizGo / 11/17/2013 at 1:00am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML
by raz_berri93 / 11/17/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML
by Remy / 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or…