About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.
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kimmi5's favorite FMLs
by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML
by >.> / 12/12/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML
by mariology / 12/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Delaware) / Work
Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 3:25am / United States / Kids
Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML
by YouAssholes / 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by knee pain / 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 10:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by GetOutOfMyHouseLoser / 12/08/2013 at 6:44pm / United States / Love
Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML
by mystery / 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
by john doe / 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 1:15pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by butterfingers / 12/06/2013 at 2:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML
by marcranger / 12/05/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…