killerdana

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Offline (the 06/09/2015 at 4:11am)

killerdana

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 706
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About killerdana : Just another unfortunate person who enjoys reading about other unfortunate people. I also enjoy reading books, hiking, playing guitar, and listening to music, not today's music though

killerdana's page activity

Visits<b>Dide9872</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 1:57pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 9:20pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:12am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:33am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:19pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:08pm<b>STHmeh</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:24am<b>mld4657</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:58am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:15am<b>ethans22</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:24am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Zebediabolical</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:46am<b>captain_crook</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:38pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:00am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:32am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:11am<b>Migillope</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:29pm

Fucked!<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:13am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:22am<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 1:43pm<b>DeadPixel4</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:16pm<b>_nesss</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:15am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:02am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:19am

killerdana's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

50 quality responses

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killerdana's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

by rockytrolley / 10/08/2014 at 5:01am / Cyprus / Transportation

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

by blow away / 07/28/2014 at 12:36am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals