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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1071
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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killerclowns's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 12:56pm<b>ginthesilver</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:52am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:11pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 9:34pm<b>countryg1rl_1994</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:31am<b>gracehi</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 1:02am<b>mdcdeve</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:53pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 3:33pm<b>jjsaunders32</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 9:01pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 11:05am<b>FrostHeart</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:42am<b>ShadowLor</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 4:14pm<b>mac8080</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:11am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Rayth</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:34pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:11pm<b>Zeus1070</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:19pm<b>blackman100</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:08pm

Fucked!<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:11pm

killerclowns's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of killerclowns's badges

killerclowns's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

by Embarressed... / 08/04/2010 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

by Alpheas / 05/30/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

by Puppysit88 / 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals