killerclowns

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killerclowns

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 994
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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killerclowns's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 12:56pm<b>ginthesilver</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:52am<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:11pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 9:34pm<b>countryg1rl_1994</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:31am<b>gracehi</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 1:02am<b>mdcdeve</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:53pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 3:33pm<b>jjsaunders32</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 9:01pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 11:05am<b>FrostHeart</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:42am<b>ShadowLor</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 4:14pm<b>mac8080</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:11am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Rayth</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:34pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:11pm<b>Zeus1070</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:19pm<b>blackman100</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:08pm

Fucked!<b>Tacogamer20</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:11pm

killerclowns's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of killerclowns's badges

killerclowns's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

by barebackingit / 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

by don'tdrinkthat / 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

by moreliketurdmart / 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

by look at the fucking universe, lady / 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Geek

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

by -1 friend / 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

by asdffhhjk / 05/15/2013 at 4:08am / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous