About kiki_1070 : I'm me. 98 and 3/4 % guaranteed!
kiki_1070's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
kiki_1070's favorite FMLs
Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML
by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by chillnhill / 09/10/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
by coolcat10156 / 07/08/2015 at 3:04am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by 1234 / 06/22/2015 at 7:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals
by BrakesNotBumpers / 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm / United States (California) / Work
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML
by badluck / 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML
by rachelhope / 07/11/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…