Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kiki_1070

Offline (the 01/27/2016 at 2:06am) | Search for a member

kiki_1070

1Fucked!

kiki_1070
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 April 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1768
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kiki_1070 : I'm me. 98 and 3/4 % guaranteed!

kiki_1070's page activity

Visits<b>townailz</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:38am<b>Hoboman69</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>ItalianGuy23</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:59am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:55pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:27am<b>holeyman</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 10:41pm<b>orangeguy04</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Empyree</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Frenchtony</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:46pm

Fucked!<b>Hoboman69</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:58pm

kiki_1070's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of kiki_1070's badges

kiki_1070's favorite FMLs

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

#21467226
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32058) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (4041)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (2633)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (2212)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27248) - you deserved it (2293)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

#21247337
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41536) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55139) - you deserved it (11234)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57423) - you deserved it (5566)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56757) - you deserved it (8458)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: