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kieralumina's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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You've liked someone. How cute!
kieralumina's favorite FMLs
by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML
by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML
by badessaymyass / 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by ohdear. / 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML
by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML
by littlekellilee / 02/28/2014 at 9:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
by chapstick / 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Hungry / 12/27/2013 at 9:01am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…