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kidinkbaby's favorite FMLs
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
by spaghett / 08/29/2016 at 4:32pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML
by StupidPets / 08/23/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/03/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
by csgocockblock / 07/27/2016 at 1:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a local Asian restaurant where this adorable Japanese girl works as a server. We had formed a friendship and I was hoping for something more, but I decided to play "hard-to-get" for the last couple of weeks. When I went there today, the place was closed. Permanently. FML
by Talented73 / 07/19/2016 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Love
by aurora320 / 07/19/2016 at 3:50pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Love
by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
Today, I went to my friend's little brother's birthday party. A few of the younger kids were hitting me with a pool noodle, and I didn't really care until a 9-year-old loudly exclaimed, "Hit her in the pussy!" FML
by punmessiah / 07/04/2016 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, my friend invited me to go on vacation with her and friends, saying we would all share a suite. I booked my flight. The trip is almost here and she now tells me there is no room for me and I have to get my own room. This is the second time she has done this. FML
by star71075 / 06/29/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Lua / 06/28/2016 at 1:09pm / France (Picardie) / Animals
by titmeister / 06/28/2016 at 12:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Malarky / 06/23/2016 at 3:10pm / United States / Love
by Anonyme / 06/22/2016 at 1:15am / Switzerland (Geneve) / Love