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khaoticpanda

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khaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Capital Wasteland, California
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1497
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi. Danish. 16.
Eat / Sleep / JROTC / Repeat
Follow me on Instagram @msbeliever_98

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khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34243) - you deserved it (2741)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39778) - you deserved it (27802)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43938) - you deserved it (4052)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43539) - you deserved it (18472)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (8273)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33312) - you deserved it (4002)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (5905)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (7055)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (7055)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (9326)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26830) - you deserved it (5559)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35316) - you deserved it (5720)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

#14209126
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous -



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