Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

khaoticpanda

Offline (the 06/10/2015 at 5:33am) | Search for a member

khaoticpanda

168Fucked!

khaoticpandakhaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5141
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi. I was raised in vault 101, you've probably never heard of it.
@MsBeliever_98 Instagram.
NEED A W.O.W GUILD 😁
PM me for PSN, Trivia Crack, or World of Warcraft/Battlenet account names.

khaoticpanda's page activity

Visits<b>BCguy3</b> - yesterday at 7:47pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:48am<b>stangluv</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:15pm<b>zahidnasir</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:30pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:59pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:34am<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:10pm<b>yourwifelovesme</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:18pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:24am<b>butlins11</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:54am<b>bigjake</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:23am<b>zburdick</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:17pm<b>JayVicious</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:35pm<b>Sky_Kid</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:32pm

Fucked!<b>stangluv</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:16pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:23pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:31pm<b>RooPeanutButter</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:14pm<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:13am<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:30am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:13pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:55pm<b>khorstmye</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:50pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:45pm<b>HolaAloha</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:02pm<b>goodvibes1599</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 8:04pm<b>JohnWick</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:37pm<b>danthonybrim</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:13pm<b>robbyq</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:29am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 7:48am

khaoticpanda's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of khaoticpanda's badges

khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64815) - you deserved it (6760)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35669) - you deserved it (9779)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48902) - you deserved it (9204)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

#16111530
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (7760)

On 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm - kids - by richkief76 -

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52727) - you deserved it (5054)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (28732)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50229) - you deserved it (8182)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46216) - you deserved it (4216)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47087) - you deserved it (19614)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44525) - you deserved it (8764)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (4537)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38908) - you deserved it (6329)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: