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khaoticpanda

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khaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Capital Wasteland, California
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1506
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi. Danish. 16.
Eat / Sleep / JROTC / Repeat
Follow me on Instagram @msbeliever_98

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khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (2543)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (8391)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (10374)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37022) - you deserved it (6969)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31151) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8854) - you deserved it (28245)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (8573)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML

#16996053
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (9863)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anna - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

#16942912
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (13746)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:14am - love - by jakewr - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59493) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (9319)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44135) - you deserved it (8672)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

#16111530
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (6322)

On 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm - kids - by richkief76 -

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50154) - you deserved it (4841)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)



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