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khaoticpanda

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khaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Capital Wasteland, California
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1494
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi. Danish. 16.
Eat / Sleep / JROTC / Repeat
Follow me on Instagram @msbeliever_98

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khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

#18300773
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9214) - you deserved it (35170)

On 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by johnnydoe6969 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (23909)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12433) - you deserved it (24696)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

#18030008
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22086) - you deserved it (3947)

On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28990) - you deserved it (5943)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

#18004250
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

#17878442
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (7952)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by soapy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (2488)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36086) - you deserved it (6586)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

#17868500
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (2330)

On 09/30/2011 at 12:50am - work - by nearlythere - Australia

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

#17867072
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24104) - you deserved it (3120)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm - misc - by hellokitty133 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (2829)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26359) - you deserved it (11362)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States



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