khaoticpanda

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Offline (the 09/11/2016 at 10:02pm)

khaoticpanda

241Fucked!

khaoticpandakhaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7837
  • Number of comments : 187
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : USAF Client Systems Personnel

khaoticpanda's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 12:23pm<b>AylienOfLmao</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 3:02pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 12:04am<b>MM100</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 4:07am<b>Altair033</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 1:54pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:32pm<b>smw83</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 6:49pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 6:47pm<b>hippobottomjeans</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 3:01pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:21pm<b>CraigRJ</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 4:10pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 10:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 11:14am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:08pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 2:28pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 2:42am<b>bobthenob</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:56am<b>vreid</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 9:55am

Fucked!<b>smw83</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 12:50am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:36pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:52pm<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 5:38am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:50pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:41am<b>LavenderSessions</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:05pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:59pm<b>Wiringify</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:44am<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 9:09pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:54pm<b>lukeDAduke157</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:45pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 3:14pm<b>olliebush123</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 1:20pm<b>bleu85</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:48pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:20am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:42am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:50am

khaoticpanda's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of khaoticpanda's badges

khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 12:22am / Love

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

by say my name / 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm / Intimacy

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

by rs / 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

by anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 2:26am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

by mpsteve137 / 06/30/2012 at 2:21am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

by xxccruzxx / 06/29/2012 at 9:30am / United States / Work

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health