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khaoticpanda

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khaoticpanda

52Liked!

khaoticpandakhaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4024
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi
@MsBeliever_98 Instagram.
Game player. Sleeper. Community service fanatic. Heterochromia. Overachiever.
PM me for PSN, Trivia Crack, or World of Warcraft/Battlenet account names.

khaoticpanda's page activity

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khaoticpanda's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of khaoticpanda's badges

khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (2019)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32364) - you deserved it (4779)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33557) - you deserved it (4212)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (2155)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18359) - you deserved it (36707)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

#19873995
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (1921)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (10064)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6584) - you deserved it (20829)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

#19869776
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (2063)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:26am - love - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

#19869749
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (8755)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:21am - intimacy - by mpsteve137 - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

#19865448
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7363) - you deserved it (25327)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:30am - work - by xxccruzxx - United States

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (3334)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (4258)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22202) - you deserved it (2858)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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