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khaoticpanda

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khaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Capital Wasteland, California
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1500
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi. Danish. 16.
Eat / Sleep / JROTC / Repeat
Follow me on Instagram @msbeliever_98

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khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9079) - you deserved it (71639)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

#1241991
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (4026)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:46pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19061) - you deserved it (105362)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19061) - you deserved it (105362)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML

#847487
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58288) - you deserved it (7853)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:53am - love - by effedfosh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML

#742814
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57884) - you deserved it (15003)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:16am - intimacy - by easilyexited (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116263) - you deserved it (34180)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116263) - you deserved it (34180)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167953) - you deserved it (25759)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (29595)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (38649)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (2437)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (9387)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (9387)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)



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