khaoticpanda

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Offline (the 09/11/2016 at 10:02pm)

khaoticpanda

240Fucked!

khaoticpandakhaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7516
  • Number of comments : 187
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : USAF Client Systems Personnel

khaoticpanda's page activity

Visits<b>hippobottomjeans</b> - 24 hours ago<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:21pm<b>CraigRJ</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 4:10pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 10:55pm<b>MM100</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 1:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 11:14am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 2:08pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 2:28pm<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 2:42am<b>bobthenob</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:56am<b>vreid</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 9:55am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 11:25am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 11:51am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 5:35pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 9:51am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:33am

Fucked!<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:36pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:52pm<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 5:38am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:50pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:41am<b>LavenderSessions</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:05pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:59pm<b>Wiringify</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:44am<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 9:09pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:54pm<b>lukeDAduke157</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:45pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 3:14pm<b>olliebush123</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 1:20pm<b>bleu85</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:48pm<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:20am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 7:42am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:50am<b>mpineda_57</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:45am

khaoticpanda's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of khaoticpanda's badges

khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

by JoshuasGirl / 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

by rejected / 12/23/2013 at 5:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

by bnc / 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

by burn in hell / 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fainted during my sister's wedding because my dress was too tight. When I woke up, she slapped me hard across the face. Why? Because I "took all the attention away" from her. FML

by brylynn / 08/25/2012 at 9:58pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous