Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

khaayotic

Online | Search for a member

khaayotic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3315
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaayotic : My name is Kayla, and I cry over anime boys.

khaayotic's page activity

Visits<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:08am<b>shockhead101</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:32pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:13am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:41am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:41am<b>PrinPrinLife</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:07am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:48pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:59pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:10pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:48pm<b>aleximo</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:00pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:29am<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 4:30pm<b>thethirdthea</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:45pm<b>nonsensical600</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:26pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 7:05pm<b>EmberFury</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 9:51pm

khaayotic's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of khaayotic's badges

khaayotic's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (2215)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (2853)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (2302)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (12413)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (1766)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)

Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12678) - you deserved it (43437)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (8906)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30569) - you deserved it (2140)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (35712)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (2465)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: