About kfchicken : suhh dude?
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50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
kfchicken's favorite FMLs
Today, I found a new way to tell if my girlfriend is on her period. If she responds to "Want me to get you anything while I'm at the store?" by screaming "God just fuck off, you cunt!" then bursting into tears, the answer is a definite yes. FML
by sad / 06/17/2016 at 6:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was lifeguarding a swim meet with over 100 patrons, a duck paid a visit to our pool. He sat down and a brown cloud surfaced in the water. He immediately flew off. My manager then made me put goggles on and scoop out the poop while everyone watched. FML
by 1sasafras1 / 06/17/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, after I skipped dessert for the third day in a row, my mom cornered me and accused me of being anorexic. I'm actually not far off being clinically obese and I'm just trying to diet, but nothing I say will convince her. She wants me to see a psychiatrist about a disorder I don't even have. FML
by chronic masticator / 05/21/2016 at 7:51am / United States / Health
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
by mcginnismr / 05/13/2016 at 6:57pm / Health
by Anonymous / 05/12/2016 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Geek
Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML
by fuck off, for real / 04/03/2016 at 9:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner / 11/16/2015 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/18/2015 at 1:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by Peter Steele love / 10/17/2015 at 8:49pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy
Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 12:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…