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kfchicken

Offline (the 04/10/2015 at 7:56am) | Search for a member

kfchicken

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 396
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kfchicken : like the name ? message me

kfchicken's page activity

Visits<b>Bludude4</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:34pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>Ghilliebro</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:22am<b>LilMsDulce</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:07am<b>pataplop</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:07am<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:30pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:24pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:43am<b>sam882</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:02am<b>fuckeverything2</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 7:23pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:28pm<b>bearin</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:08pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:06am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:31am<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:12am<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 3:19am<b>xDistant</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 12:53am<b>sparklychairs</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 8:00pm

Fucked!<b>bearin</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 4:09am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:06am

kfchicken's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of kfchicken's badges

kfchicken's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29660) - you deserved it (2439)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (5201)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (13072)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (3470)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31386) - you deserved it (4425)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34081) - you deserved it (5008)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

#21341948
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/21/2015 at 10:46pm - misc - by blububble412 - United States (Arizona)

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (18724)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31301) - you deserved it (3401)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (4524)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (12211)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (15104)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

#21334677
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29076) - you deserved it (2448)

On 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm - kids - by SadSister:( - United States



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