Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

keyface5

Online | Search for a member

keyface5

5Fucked!

keyface5keyface5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3683
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About keyface5 : I'm a senior in high school and play oboe and synthesizer. I love music in general. I love cute things :3

keyface5's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 5:29pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:37pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:48am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:57am<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:54am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:06pm<b>sayakabeats</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:05am<b>skye147</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 4:57pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:46pm<b>attaboyyy11</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:35pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>KinkyMissBinky</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:27am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:04pm<b>BtwYoureAdopted</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:23pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:10pm<b>Thatepicperson</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:49pm

Fucked!<b>skye147</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:45am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:46am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:04pm<b>sayakabeats</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:29pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:16pm

keyface5's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of keyface5's badges

keyface5's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (1939)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16483) - you deserved it (5711)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

#21518044
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19778) - you deserved it (7409)

On 01/22/2016 at 12:47am - animals - by swag papi - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

#21503215
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (3007)

On 12/13/2015 at 6:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

#21499337
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/03/2015 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

#21488023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm - love - by Wtf -

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

#21479432
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (5615)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML

#21478538
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (4336)

On 10/11/2015 at 8:31am - misc - by MeaganElizabethM (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

#21473561
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21994) - you deserved it (3628)

On 09/28/2015 at 12:05am - love - by DontBeRude (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

#21473001
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31987) - you deserved it (5728)

On 09/26/2015 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by erphy21 - United States (California)

Today, my scumfuck brother and his friends spent my baby sister's funeral snickering and telling dead baby jokes to one another. FML

#21470076
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (1813)

On 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: