Search for a member

Offline (the 06/13/2016 at 12:46am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4173
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About keyface5 : I'm a senior in high school and play oboe and synthesizer. I love music in general. I love cute things :3

keyface5's page activity

Visits<b>Therid</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 4:28pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 10:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:59pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:37pm<b>anak36</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 1:05am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:30pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 5:29pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:37pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:48am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:57am<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:54am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:06pm<b>sayakabeats</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:05am<b>skye147</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:03pm<b>attaboyyy11</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:35pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>KinkyMissBinky</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:27am

Fucked!<b>Therid</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:28pm<b>anak36</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:07am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:49am<b>skye147</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:45am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:04pm<b>sayakabeats</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:29pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:16pm

keyface5's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of keyface5's badges

keyface5's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I had to sit through the wedding of my best friend and the love of my life, and pretend to be happy for them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2016 at 12:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

by chickenshit4 / 05/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2016 at 2:20am / Australia / Work

Today, my boyfriend called condoms the "biggest scam in history" and said I won't get pregnant if I just wash myself out with vinegar after we finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?" FML

by not satisfied / 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

by Katie1921 / 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

by OhDearGodGrandad / 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Intimacy

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 6:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2015 at 9:02am / Intimacy