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kevdg

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kevdg

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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kevdg's page activity

Visits<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 6:28pm<b>DaddyBear022</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:14am

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kevdg's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (6905)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

#18048411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15035) - you deserved it (46616)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (4340)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (8958)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31645) - you deserved it (4655)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52099) - you deserved it (16619)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43184) - you deserved it (8713)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50218) - you deserved it (4569)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML

#17999890
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (7388) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by poluxe - France

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (5995)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (7322)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12801) - you deserved it (39808)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States



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