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kevdg

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kevdg
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  • Number of visits : 914
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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kevdg's favorite FMLs

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (39189)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (73800)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7034) - you deserved it (98294)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

#18198070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (1931)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (7677)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (3762)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML

#18184829
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2613)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48982) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (41759)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (8637)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (4925)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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