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kevdg

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 8:08pm) | Search for a member

kevdg

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  • Number of visits : 2628
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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kevdg's page activity

Visits<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 6:28pm<b>DaddyBear022</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:14am

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kevdg's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50526) - you deserved it (4714)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (2855)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (6073)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (9752)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (2764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51422) - you deserved it (8619)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35186) - you deserved it (7151)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9320) - you deserved it (30843)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37451) - you deserved it (7041)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (3065)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (14292)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (3961)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38978) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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