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kevdg

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kevdg
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  • Number of visits : 919
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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kevdg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (7743)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (2683)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (5456)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (21624)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (6395)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (13543)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (2840)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

#18804731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (10869)

On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (21947)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (3593)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12873) - you deserved it (22715)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30756) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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