kenyalovesarah

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Offline (the 10/08/2014 at 9:44pm)

kenyalovesarah

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1114
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kenyalovesarah : Created an account out of boredom, but i love fml. I love alice in wonderland, hemp bracelets, waterskiing, saw movies, board games, cuddling, african safaris, scuba diving, psychology, and outdoor adventures. Message me if you want, were both bored anyways.p.s I dont have a kik or any of those other social networks so please dont ask. thanks.

kenyalovesarah's page activity

Visits<b>stingray112</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 12:41am<b>Leo619</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 3:02pm<b>silentnick</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 11:02pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 11:23am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 9:48am<b>hullarms</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:22am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:40pm<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:08pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 4:45pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:19am<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:47pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:07am<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:22pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:34pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:37am<b>JaimeFlores96</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:49am<b>jojimugo</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:05pm

Fucked!<b>silentnick</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 5:02am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:40pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:37am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:34am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:39am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:17am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:17pm

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kenyalovesarah's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

by jazzie7719 / 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

by Mia / 08/20/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous