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kenoswild's favorite FMLs
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
by Anonymous / 03/02/2012 at 3:30am / Belgium / Kids
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy
by MrOh / 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love
by Username / 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
by PizzaBoySwag / 06/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States (California) / Work
by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by Username / 04/16/2011 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:29am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…