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kenoswild

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kenoswild
  • Town/Country : Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 755
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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kenoswild's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

#19201046
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (2714)

On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9862) - you deserved it (31731)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (4052)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (6930)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

#17418285
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (3841)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm - love - by MrOh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (5320)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

#17349530
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9049) - you deserved it (33941)

On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8948) - you deserved it (86790)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

#16417126
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (25531)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

#15803109
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9561) - you deserved it (70889)

On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (52520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (11884)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (44596)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

#14552215
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8459) - you deserved it (20253)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

#14487466
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (1960)

On 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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