Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kenjenkei

Online | Search for a member

kenjenkei

6Liked!

kenjenkeikenjenkei
  • Town/Country : Canberra, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1430
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kenjenkei : Eh.

kenjenkei's page activity

Visits<b>ahomelessmario</b> - 20 hours ago<b>artpoooop4569</b> - yesterday at 12:30pm<b>seemo82</b> - yesterday at 11:05am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - yesterday at 10:09am<b>gamergirl18155</b> - yesterday at 8:25am<b>Rpather95</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:33pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:21pm<b>lramos42</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:57pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:11am<b>Blaisey</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 8:36pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:53am<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:34am<b>orbit</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:54am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 4:43am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 8:22pm

Liked!<b>seemo82</b> - yesterday at 5:05pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:48am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:22am<b>alexhall1</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 4:37am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:23pm<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:22am

kenjenkei's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of kenjenkei's badges

kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (3118)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46326) - you deserved it (13274)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59299) - you deserved it (6125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (5800) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (19964) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

#14499685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (5601)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

#14253305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9712) - you deserved it (24799)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (20580)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41944) - you deserved it (10160)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML

#13968258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (6313)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:52pm - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (5434)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (4775)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9206) - you deserved it (38617)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (4511)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: