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kenjenkei

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kenjenkei

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kenjenkeikenjenkei
  • Town/Country : Canberra, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1420
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kenjenkei : Eh.

kenjenkei's page activity

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kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

#17545368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21900) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:44am - misc - by No Action Fighter - United States (California)

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (3792)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML

#17497875
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35556) - you deserved it (5494)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23757) - you deserved it (2232)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10082) - you deserved it (68100)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10189) - you deserved it (78079)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13432) - you deserved it (59582)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16652) - you deserved it (41491)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16491) - you deserved it (27864)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (39684)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44844) - you deserved it (5620)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

#15800511
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (5905)

On 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm - work - by :| - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML

#15562306
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34680) - you deserved it (3243)

On 03/30/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anon_a_mouse (man) - Reserved

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39201) - you deserved it (24279)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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