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kenjenkei

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kenjenkei
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 285
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About kenjenkei : “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
― Terry Pratchett

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22831) - you deserved it (2251)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

#19478782
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4489) - you deserved it (24906)

On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (11871)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18485) - you deserved it (1943)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10966) - you deserved it (35536)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16533) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

#19237178
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10491) - you deserved it (17917)

On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (2176)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (67996)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13307) - you deserved it (37028)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (5013)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (5845)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States



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