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kenjenkei

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kenjenkei

22Fucked!

kenjenkeikenjenkei
  • Town/Country : Canberra, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2408
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kenjenkei : Eh.

kenjenkei's page activity

Visits<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:34pm<b>buckman1011</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:24am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:51pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 6:49am<b>MidgeAlot</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:24pm<b>Krwman</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Ddanimal</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:35pm<b>DougK76</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:57am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:17pm<b>mike788</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:18pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 10:46am<b>funnypants12</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:59am<b>martin8337</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:01am<b>coried91</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:06pm<b>soak_25</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:47am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:55pm<b>oakcrush</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:26am

Fucked!<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:35am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:51am<b>DougK76</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:57pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:02am<b>sam9697</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:34pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:20pm<b>tiredteenager</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:02am<b>countrygirl2272</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:40pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:07pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:46pm<b>BellaRoseeee</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:41pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:35pm<b>ReverseCarb</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:01pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:14pm<b>seemo82</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:05pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:48am

kenjenkei's FML badges

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kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (57553)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48809) - you deserved it (17769)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39561) - you deserved it (5225)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52439) - you deserved it (10343)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (7169)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40233) - you deserved it (3200)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you deserved it (4230)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49219) - you deserved it (6481)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51435) - you deserved it (8437)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (18042)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42142) - you deserved it (2861)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland



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