kenjenkei

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Offline (the 06/23/2016 at 6:40am)

kenjenkei

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kenjenkeikenjenkei
  • Town/Country : Canberra, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3890
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kenjenkei : Eh.

kenjenkei's page activity

Visits<b>AudiLover21</b> - yesterday at 6:55pm<b>jackthemac</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 4:56am<b>karla_darla</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 5:50pm<b>itprosam</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 5:36am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 2:10pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:03pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 9:48pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:50pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:09am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 11:04am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 5:58pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:26pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 1:21pm<b>SkullHQ</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:20am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:07pm

Fucked!<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 8:10pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:16pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:07am<b>mehibud</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 12:02am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 12:36am<b>nash1991</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 7:03pm<b>TheBroCodeBros</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 5:22pm<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:42am<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:08pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:54am<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:57am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:35am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:51am<b>DougK76</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:57pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:46pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:34pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:20pm

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kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

by Sleepless / 02/03/2014 at 8:29am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

by Kayak / 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

by raz_berri93 / 11/17/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.