Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ken29

Online | Search for a member

ken29

3Fucked!

ken29ken29
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8612
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ken29 : My name's Kendrick. I'm a league player. Throw some hate this way.

ken29's page activity

Visits<b>DobbythefreeElf2</b> - 24 hours ago<b>TommysGirl0526</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:46am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:02am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:40am<b>justdoitalready</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:28am<b>shanewh40</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:52pm<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 7:35am<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:29am<b>xXMlg420RektXx</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 3:51pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:09am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:16pm<b>DiamondGirlj</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:09pm<b>hansky</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 4:59pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:06pm<b>purplehair</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:09pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>RayTotoro</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:34pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:42pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:48pm

ken29's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of ken29's badges

ken29's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19891) - you deserved it (11944)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31106) - you deserved it (2471)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

#19720443
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (40229)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (7487)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (8383)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (8383)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (9646)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (9646)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3383)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (3383)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

#19649940
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (2448)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

#19649940
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (2448)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9788) - you deserved it (25110)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9788) - you deserved it (25110)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (1939)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: