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ken29

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ken29
  • Town/Country : That One City, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 2710
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ken29 : I'm just your average, everyday Pokémon Master. Moustaches are cool.

P.S.- If you want to talk just kik me @ ken290
Adios!

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ken29's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (37449)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (8647)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (6253)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

#20980367
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33902) - you deserved it (4291)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (11125)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49117) - you deserved it (7053)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (46197)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52586) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (14315)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (45749)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52037) - you deserved it (4044)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43460) - you deserved it (6278)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36724) - you deserved it (9880)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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