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kemisha24131070's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML
by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML
by disconnected / 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Work
by danceinconverse / 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by lonethong15 / 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML
by jogginglikeitsmyjob / 07/31/2014 at 7:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous