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kemisha24131070's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Deaf / 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML
by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health
by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML
by disconnected / 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Work
by danceinconverse / 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love
by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by lonethong15 / 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML
by jogginglikeitsmyjob / 07/31/2014 at 7:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…