Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kemisha24131070

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

kemisha24131070

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1082
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kemisha24131070's page activity

Visits<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:27am<b>2nd</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:51am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:56pm<b>steveykinz0967</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:44pm<b>SarahCandy</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 6:20pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:48pm<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:07pm<b>brettrb</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 8:37am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:21pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:26am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:07am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:48pm

kemisha24131070's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of kemisha24131070's badges

kemisha24131070's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (1768)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77) - you deserved it (179)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32874) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

#21263926
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (3195)

On 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm - work - by disconnected (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
107 comments

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (5578)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48512) - you deserved it (3617)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41028) - you deserved it (13635)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49367) - you deserved it (21309)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45757) - you deserved it (7794)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (6510)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42729) - you deserved it (4386)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (9349)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: