About kelsorg : more than likely will not reply, enjoy.
kelsorg's FML badges
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
kelsorg's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 5:05am / United States (Florida) / Work
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by Rowansgonnarow / 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm / Health
by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Fat Arsed Lass / 06/01/2014 at 6:28am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals
Today, at work, a lady approached me asking if I'd found a used cloth diaper on a table, and I told her it was probably in the trash. She said "That's okay, I can wash it." So I searched through several bags of trash, and when I couldn't find it, she said "Oh never mind! It's in my bag." FML
by cootiequeen / 06/01/2014 at 12:13am / United States / Work
by disturbed / 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm / Ireland / Animals
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
by idiot says "you raised him" / 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health
by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by damn it rose / 05/31/2014 at 9:40am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML
by jjcod / 05/31/2014 at 5:13am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
- Today, I watched pride and prejudice for the first time. I wanted to sit down and enjoy the movie… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…