Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1516
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kdgsmiley's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 7:17am<b>Pandaling</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 7:15am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:40am<b>sappy23</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>psackett</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 12:13am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:29pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:09pm<b>iG_08</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:12pm<b>baker0350</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 11:16pm<b>TiddlesWiddles</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:26pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Chelserser</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:26am<b>Sarahch</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:57pm<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:32pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:49pm<b>puuu</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:44pm<b>fleshMastersword</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:26pm

Fucked!<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:42pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:01pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Chelserser</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:02am

kdgsmiley's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of kdgsmiley's badges

kdgsmiley's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (4671)

On 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you deserved it (22848)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (8974)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (2288)

On 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (3463)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (2427)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:50pm - misc - by is cum a fruit or a vegetable? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (4631)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm - kids - by Andrew - United States (New Jersey)

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24172) - you deserved it (11730)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

Today, while walking home with my girlfriend we decided to take a shortcut in the woods. After hearing a huge noise, she pushed me and ran. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23869) - you deserved it (2685)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm - love - by sheWontbeOnMyZombieApocteam - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (3368)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (3851)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: