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kayward365's favorite FMLs
by fffemaleee / 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Transportation
by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous
by TJFuentes / 02/11/2015 at 8:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Milked Richard / 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
by gumchuck / 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by wtfdaughter / 02/03/2015 at 11:59am / Brazil (Pernambuco) / Kids
by toe / 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by okseñoryoucrazy / 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by UnidentifiedFun / 01/31/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML
by not a cancerous pimple / 01/30/2015 at 7:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I… Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest… Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were…