kayray11

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kayray11

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 993
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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kayray11's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 6:01pm<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:51am<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:44am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 10:23am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 5:21pm<b>stiansr</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:49pm<b>utrax</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:44pm<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 2:10am<b>verhelle21</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:53pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:31pm<b>cesarporto</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:33pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:32pm<b>LeoP13</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:34pm<b>bananamandan</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:14am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:28pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:01am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:01am

kayray11's FML badges

The rules are the rules

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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kayray11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

by extra crispy or original recipe / 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

by NoPeeGiven / 04/14/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (North Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

by a / 12/06/2012 at 1:15am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

by wut / 08/05/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

by Frustation / 07/30/2012 at 9:00am / United States / Work

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

by ugh / 04/21/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health