Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kaylselyse

Search for a member

kaylselyse
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 75
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kaylselyse : I have a very immature sense of humor with a very mature mind, how is this possible ? Don't ask me because I haven't the slightest clue

kaylselyse's last visitors

awesomepantTamiaLarissa24sammy1021worldclassragerMVSKElNeqriitoIhavegasiknowiwantyou

kaylselyse's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of kaylselyse's badges

kaylselyse's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (7452)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (3694)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (13614)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (9483)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (5037)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43881) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39431) - you deserved it (6100)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed hysterically as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (3525)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34243) - you deserved it (3096)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34180) - you deserved it (11054)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37998) - you deserved it (5145)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (7678)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48700) - you deserved it (4740) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44931) - you deserved it (3522)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: