About kaylselyse : I have a very immature sense of humor with a very mature mind, how is this possible ? Don't ask me because I haven't the slightest clue
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kaylselyse's favorite FMLs
Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:24am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML
by Notthatone / 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML
by Can't Believe It. / 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML
by Sleepless / 02/03/2014 at 8:29am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by foops / 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
by tsukinoie / 02/02/2014 at 1:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
by juice723 / 02/01/2014 at 9:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML
by TwistedCherub1 / 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Love
by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments / 02/01/2014 at 3:11am / United States (Alabama) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there… Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just… Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at,…