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kaylachopp's FML badges
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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kaylachopp's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
by sleepysophie / 10/19/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm / Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla) / Health
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML
by littlekellilee / 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by wasted_gas / 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by pancakelicious / 10/04/2013 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Intimacy
by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous
Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML
by okaythen / 10/04/2013 at 5:37am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…