karen1991

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karen1991

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4416
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About karen1991 : Hello world my name is Karen! I am 20 with a crazy interesting wonderful and other sorts of life. I love to meet new people and have fun. Music is my coffee without it I am a zombie and not the good kinda zombie ether if there is such a thing, after watching zombie land I don't think so. Save the twinkys!! After watching that movie I ate so many of those yellow delicious bastards..Lol..soooo world send me a message or talk about zombies with me till then Tyler!

karen1991's page activity

Visits<b>leaannec30</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:55pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:52pm<b>keilei</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:57am<b>izkiz</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:23pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:44am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:41pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:20pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:51am<b>anonymuse</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:34am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:52pm<b>yehyeh</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:53am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:32am<b>thatsbs123</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:48pm<b>KK_Kam</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:52pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:18am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Bvbfangirl</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:17pm

karen1991's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of karen1991's badges

karen1991's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

by lalalalainie / 10/13/2012 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

by embarrassed / 10/08/2012 at 5:12am / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

by kira / 10/02/2012 at 6:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

by Shortround / 09/30/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML