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karapfeifer

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karapfeifer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1056
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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karapfeifer's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

#15411546
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44943) - you deserved it (4371)

On 03/21/2011 at 3:07am - misc - by kelly (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41272) - you deserved it (7023)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (4571)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (8815)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33350) - you deserved it (3919)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

#15124646
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12365) - you deserved it (28977)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Carmen - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (16104)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

#14994829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (6434)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by Ihavealisp (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8756) - you deserved it (49245)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

#14907704
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33340) - you deserved it (3074)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

#14895043
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (13718)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (6032)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML

#14417177
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (7751)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by nyebust - United States



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