Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 January 1935 (80 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 529
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About kantalita_claire : "Sarcasm is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden"

Accepting of all races, religions, genders, sexualities or physical/mental abilities 🌈🌈

Message me :)

kantalita_claire's page activity

Visits<b>iSativa</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 8:29am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:16am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:29pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:35am<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:21pm<b>RA91</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Medhi</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:01pm<b>j_cat187</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:51am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:32pm<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:58pm<b>wastedpenguin</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:02am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:01am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Jordanbw1814</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:13pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 6:08pm

Liked!<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:02am<b>gavdarv</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:52am<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:11am<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:01am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:58am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:35am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:12am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:50am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Genesis2point0</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:26am<b>Jordanbw1814</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:29pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:35pm<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:44pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 9:36pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 4:21pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:15am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:20am<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 4:32am

kantalita_claire's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of kantalita_claire's badges

kantalita_claire's favorite FMLs

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (19335)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (6073)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29242) - you deserved it (4815)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29152) - you deserved it (3507)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (6742)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39293) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML


I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (5465)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37455) - you deserved it (5810)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44048) - you deserved it (5034)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML


I agree, your life sucks (49569) - you deserved it (22237)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (7605)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: