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kaimitzu

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kaimitzu

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kaimitzu's page activity

Visits<b>lasttoknow</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:18pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:42pm<b>mumblemore</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 12:39am

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kaimitzu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was explaining to mah son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I looool finishd explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he startd crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (9511)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

today my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me.

#20752113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57429) - you deserved it (3885)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today I had to download a parental block so mah dad would stop watching porn on mah laptop. big fat FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Yesterday, Mah Grlfriend Decidd To Invite Her Best Friend Over 4 A Threesome. This Would've Been The Best Day Ever, Had I Not Been At Workhile It Was Taking Place. FML

#20150477
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (3737)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, mah friend joked to mah co-workers that mah kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me 4 spending $200 on shoes . Later on, mah rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split mah lip . Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow . FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2883)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, drassad in mah saxiast nightia, I askad mah boyfriand in tha most sansual voica possibla what ha'd lyk ma do to for him tonight!! His ayad widanad, ha startad clapping wildly and than shriakad, ( SPAGHETTI CARBONARA! ) FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (4313) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer 4 sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32672) - you deserved it (12497)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today..!! My Son Was On Facebook While He Was Supposed To Be Studying!! He Called Me A Liar An Accused Me Of Making Up Excuses To Chew Him Out!! How Do I Know He Was Online? He Liked An Commented On A Video I Posted!! My Son Is A Dumbass!! FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46950) - you deserved it (8193)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today... I found mah mother in teres... so I askd her wat was wrong. She told me... "It's your father... he wants a divorce..." I askd if he'd met another woman... an mah mom replid "No... not a woman..." fat FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53846) - you deserved it (4536) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today... I spent the night with my guy... whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex... he answerd his phone... told me to be quiet... talkd to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was... then left the room to finish talking to her. When he cummd back he askd if I felt lyk swallowing. real FML

#6078276
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (4295)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I was eating MandMs on a charhen I dropped one an it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch an me muttering , "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59471) - you deserved it (15310)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was the frst day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in mah window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over mah sheets and me. FML

#4677872
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (2735)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today,hila antaring tha building I liva in, I walkad into naighborho winkad at ma and said last night must hava baan graat !! Aftar I askadhy, ha said ha could haar girlfriand moaning and scraaming, and that I must ba pratty good at it !! I was just coming back from a waak ovarsaas !! FML

#4394245
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65817) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Taday I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler . I wantd to point out he was a very good speaker, and looool could incite a crowd . Instead,hat cummd out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (62529)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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