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Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 9:30am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 838
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kaffeeine : hello and welcome! :)

i'd like to take this time to tell you that I enjoy coffee, sugary treats, and yummy food a whooole lot. I also sleep like ten hours a day. my friends describe me as loud, lazy, yet energetic.

if i sound like a bucket of fun or we have something in common, you should message me! i also have snapchat and kik, which i might give if you ask politely :)

aaand feel free to follow me on instagram if you've got it : @_kaffeine

kaffeeine's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:22pm<b>seannyc</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:29am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 11:55pm<b>Noseitch</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:37pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:35am<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:16am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:14am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:18pm<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:51pm<b>nikkaaaay</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:22pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 8:33am<b>bomberos_08</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:29pm<b>sleaves</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:35am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:10pm<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 4:50am<b>ilyem97</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:39pm<b>itsmecutiepie</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:08am

kaffeeine's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of kaffeeine's badges

kaffeeine's favorite FMLs

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 7:36am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

by fail / 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

by still hungry / 04/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

by jazz / 01/22/2010 at 3:11am / Kids

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

by AzNFoo / 03/26/2009 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I realized the reason I was asked to babysit 3 weeks ago for Feb 14 was because the old married couple with kids safely assumed that I wouldn't have a Valentine. FML

by NoValentine / 02/14/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals